Staying at home mum?
Why mums should be able to choose to stay at home.
2.04 million women in the UK are stay at home mums.
Okay, so that’s a big number BUT that number has fallen by almost 1 million in the last 20 years.
This is a big subject for me, even though I have no children and of course, I have never been a stay at home mum or a working mum.
However, I do in fact hold a lot of professional knowledge about early development in children and have done a lot in raising my younger brother over the past several years.
My mum is a single parent and has been since the birth of my brother.
She was the only one paying the bills for us all. We depended on her and instead of me taking up a full time job and her having to spend more money on sending baby bro into childcare, I decided I would be at home for him before and after school and I would work part time during school hours.
At home, I would cook and clean and do the shopping and whatever else needed doing whilst my mum worked a 40 hour week to feed us and keep a roof over our heads.
Now from my experience, I know that what children need during early years and that first settling into school period is a supportive person close to them, someone that they are already attached to.
My brother hated that my mum wasn’t around to pick him up from school.
He really missed her and he would cry sometimes.
It was utterly heartbreaking.
The one thing I wanted to do, was to morph into my mum and be her so that it would pacify him at least until she got home.
During this time of my life, it was my job to be mum of the house.
When he had a problem, it was my job to help him out.
When dinner needed cooking or the toilet needed scrubbing, I did it.
Because that’s what your mother would do!
I took on that ‘invisible’ role because I knew it was important to my brother to have someone he could depend on fully who could be his 24/7 support.
Several years later, we are best friends and he is the most amazing child I have ever set eyes on.
I know that in several more years and several more years after that and maybe even 80 years after that, (well maybe) we will still be best friends and he will be coming over to my house and il be making his sandwiches and making sure he’s got enough water to drink.
I believe that mums should be able to choose to stay at home, or someone close to the family like myself, at least until secondary school age, because children thrive off of being around people they love.
They need that individual meaningful attention.
Of course love for our families and love for ourselves makes the world go around and makes the world a better place because we are doing good for ourselves and good for others.
Okay, there are after school clubs and breakfast clubs where children can mix together and make friends.
But in today’s reality, what about the children who don’t make friends easily?
Some children don’t get anything out of being at those clubs at all.
They are just there because mum had to go to work early or because dad is busy today so he had to drop me off early.
What happened to family time?
Sure you get that period after about 7 in the evening where you can sit down with everybody and chill.
But what about sending the children to bed at a reasonable time and what about making time for yourself?
How much time does that leave for your child and for yourself before you have to go to sleep, get up and do it all over again?
And okay so not every mother or father can afford to be staying at home every day taking care of the kids because they have a list of bills longer than their arm to pay, and yes there are plenty of mothers and fathers who stay at home receiving a weekly pay check from the government because they don’t have a job or they are too ill to work.
Which household has the richest family life?
Which type of people make the better families?
The answer: neither!
The reality is that working hours are too long and pay is too little.
The average working week is clocking up to 40 hours plus!
The average person is walking around like a zombie because the stress of working life is too much!
How is that affecting everybody else and their children?
Family time isn’t spent talking to their children. It’s spent telling their children to go away. Sending them to their xbox console so they can play the latest war game! Because images of war, including slaughtered people and bombs going off, harming others etc is healthy for children’s development right?
Parents who work too much and don’t spend enough quality time with their children often compensate their children for the guilt that they feel by buying them whatever they want.
Good example to set to the new generation?
“If I work more you can have everything okay kiddo?!”
And the men and women sat at home watching Jeremy Kyle on repeat every day, they aren’t learning anything! They aren’t building social circles or prosperous opportunities for themselves because they are too scared. Too scared of working so many hours a day and not having a life that they deserve.
They are rotting away, being forgotten about by society.
And so, their children are set that example, of a person who has refused to continue growing themselves, and who has the mindset of a person who believes “okay so if this job doesn’t work out or I don’t like it anymore, I can just fall back into the government, they can pay me to stay at home like mum does!”
In an ideal UK,
Working hours would be shorter, which would create more job shares and if the government stopped spending money unnecessarily on stupid crap we don’t need, then we could easily introduce higher wages or at least a lower cost of living!
And mothers and fathers would find that it is easier to choose whether to stay at work full time or part time, allowing both to have the option of going into work and still being present for their child’s life.
This means that everybody would have more time for family, more time to do what they want to do, more time to live life to the fullest!
More time to spend on becoming a better individual to society.
This could reduce crime rates as people would care more about eachother, increase life expectancy because illnesses like depression and stress would take a back seat and the amount of family fallouts would fall because family would suddenly become important and essential to everyday life.
Let me know what you think in the comments below.