10 things to do when you’re so sad and have no idea what to do next

Sitting here on a Friday night, all alone, fresh from an argument with my boyfriend, with a big glass of something stiff, tears rolling down my cheeks and make up smudged along the bed sheets, I have already taken to eating chocolate, listening to music, drinking the contents of the alcohol cabinet and am planning on a big workout later on, just to get myself out of this damned funk.

Here’s what you can do to feel better too.

1. Drink alcohol!
Just get lost in that never ending flow of spirits and liqueurs.
You’ll feel better afterwards. Promise.

2. Eat chocolate
If you’re on a diet or conscious about you’re weight, maybe this is a bad idea.
However, if you don’t care about your weight, head to the local store and buy a big box of the brown stuff. Let the flavours massage your tastes buds into stress free heaven.

3. Exercise
I was once told that feeling sad is like an addiction and needs to be beaten, so every time I feel like that, to exercise. It generally works but my legs ache so bad, it’s hard to feel like wanting to do it again.

4. Talk to someone
This always makes me feel better, when I feel like I have a companion and a friend who cares about me. Letting out all those bottled up feelings inside really does do you good.

5. Watch comedy
All it takes is one picture, one snippet from a show, one odd looking facial expression to get us giggling through our tears.
Just go looking and you’ll find the medicine you seek.

6. Drink alcohol
Did I already go over this one?

7. Do something you enjoy
For example, read a book, watch tv, play a game with someone, draw, dance, listen to music, watch porn, have sex, eat fatty food, sleep!
Do it, we are dying so why not take a chance?

8. Take a bath
If you have an empty house, hot water and a bath tub, it’s time to take the opportunity, fill it deep with hot water and lovely smelling bubbles, pop in your rubber ducky, bring your glass of wine, slip off your clothes and hop in to the pool of your dreams. Let the water wash over your skin and the aroma tickle your nose.
Let go of everything and everyone.

9. Get your butt outside and do some gardening!
This one always serves to take my mind off of what’s harrowing it.
It all becomes about making sure that the grass is in line and next doors cat poop is swiftly thrown back over to where it belongs….

10. Know that you’re not alone
Dearest friend, Iv tried to make this article as light hearted as possible. The most important thing to mind though, is that you’re not alone.
I am here for you and if I could be where you are, I would hug you, stroke your head and tell you that everything is going to be okay, because it will be. Promise.

Love you lots
Beth

Write my life

It all began 4 days after Christmas in 1992.
At 9:42, I squeezed out of my mums belly and I became Bethany.
My mum took me home with her and I lived in a big house with my two older brothers, my sister, my parents, and various animals including cats, dogs, mice, guinea pigs, rabbits and fish.

I had such a great childhood.
It was filled with lovely people such as my three nanas, my grandad and my huge families including numerous cousins and aunties and uncles.
My brothers, sister and I were always outside, creating mischief wherever we went, although there were the odd days when we would sit down and make perfumes from cold rain water and flower petals, or daisy chains from the green outside our front door.
We were always getting into trouble and often we would get punished for it.
I remember that I once took a bracelet from a store where my older brother had been to get new shoes.
Yup, I got smacked that evening.
But us kids were happy together and we had so much fun.

When I was nine, things started to go wrong and my dad flipped out and went totally crazy on us all.
I won’t go into too much detail but let’s just say, my siblings and I were made victims to the onslaught.
For years, the fighting and the arguing went on between us all and it saw my parents split and my childhood home vanish from our hands into the hands of strangers.
My achievements at school had gone from good to bad to worse. The girls I went to school with began to make fun of me and the problems I was having at home and at the age of 13, I dropped out of school altogether.

My mum, my siblings and I had moved several times since our parents split and we had found it extremely hard to make ends meet.
Some days we struggled to eat and struggled to keep warm. My mum told me that if I wanted a new coat for the snow, bearing in mind I didn’t have one, then I had to get a job and pay for it myself.
Even when the lock on our front door broke and we couldn’t afford to get it fixed, we had to leave the door hanging on the latch and my brothers would make sure no one would come in whilst we were sleeping in the night.
During this period of our lives, my mum had another baby.
My little brother Leo, who I adore with my entire being.

About that time, I started running off to London for weeks at a time, to escape the pain I was feeling at home. My sister was bullying me and my dad kept coming back to our home to threaten and hurt our mum.
I would meet strangers on the street and they would become friends.
I had a different boyfriend every two weeks and I rarely ate any food.
I was 14 years old.

On my final evening in London, I had been locked up in a house by a “friend”. She had left me there with two adult guys.
One of them threatened to take my belongings and force me to perform a sexual act on him at knifepoint.
Luckily though, the other male saved me from this ordeal and managed to get me out of the house and to the nearest bus stop for me to get back to where I was staying.

The next day, stunned at the event of the previous evening, I decided enough was enough, and I went back to my mums house.

I lolled for months.
By this time I was 15.
I didn’t get a job, I ate so much junk food, never exercised, watched tv all day and cried about how crappy life was for me.

When I turned 16, I was rushed to hospital for emergency surgery.
My spleen had spontaneously ruptured and I was dying from internal bleeding.
Somehow, by pure miracle and lots of amazing life saving people working in the hospital, I lived to tell the story.

It took a long time for me to get over the trauma of the event but eventually, I started to build a life for myself.
I learned new things, got myself a job, cared more about other people, made friends,
And I even got to travel to a few cool places like Italy.

The one thing that held me down though, was the fact that I had by then, developed a severe eating disorder.

After a couple of years, I was on the road to recovery and was aiming higher and higher and achieving more and more. My future looked bright. I was happy and healthy.

Then came the next blow.
My aunt, who had previously won a battle against ovarian cancer, had learned that the cancer had come back and this time, there was too little time to save her.
She went into a hospice and I remember our final meeting there.
I don’t want to go into any further detail from here.

I went to her funeral. I cried.
I still don’t feel like I have grieved enough for her but that will come in time.

Around that time, anorexia had relapsed within me and I began to control my food intake and exercise again, this time even more so severely.

I met a man named Lewis and about a month after we had begun dating, he asked me to be his girlfriend.
I said yes.

Almost two years later and we have had so many ups and downs but our relationship is definitely worth fighting for.

In recent months, I have been diagnosed with severe clinical depression and given medication to take for it.
I quit the job I was unhappy in and now I have no income.
I am happier.
But I am seeking a new life for myself.
I am seeking something better for myself.

To be continued…

The stigma that haunts depression.

As a young woman, fully immersed into the professional world of business at a young age, working 40 long hours a week in a job with high levels of stress, low pay and the constant being around of negative people, it was no wonder I developed a severe depression.
In fact, I often say, it was just waiting to happen.

To my recollection, I can see myself a few months ago from now, deteriorating mentally, getting deeper and deeper into the abyss that was and is my depression.
I stopped being a person. I ineffectually became “dead”.

I had no hobbies, no interests, no real friends, I couldn’t even hold a conversation or sleep all night through.
My relationship was deeply suffering and falling apart because I no longer had interest in it.
And as my condition worsened, I began to walk out of work, lock myself away in toilets just to cry in the middle of the day for no apparent reason, I would have outbursts of emotion and when I finally reached breaking point, I tried to walk out of work of my own accord in a less than fit mental state, at ten in the morning.

The road to recovery has been a long ongoing process, and I am only a quarter of the way there even now, a month and a half since I sought professional help.
I still have negative thoughts sometimes. It’s been almost three weeks since I had serious suicidal thoughts and I still wake in the night dreaming of people from work. My hair is thinning and my dentist has told me that I am grinding my teeth in my sleep due to stress and that If I continue, I will need to invest in a mouth guard.
My doctor has referred me to a professional psychologist.

I have come across, within this time, a great number of people, who have told me “just snap out of it”, “just get on with it”, “you’re fine, you’re just a little upset and tired, you’ll be fine tomorrow”.
In all honesty, I’m sure that all these people meant well, but what they were actually doing, was damaging to my mind and my wellbeing.
I remember looking at them confused, thinking it’s been a year and a half now, why haven’t I snapped out of it yet?

The truth is, too many people believe depression is just a word that indicates a person is feeling low, feeling sad.
In fact, depression is a serious mental illness with the possibilities of life ruination and even death.

For much too long, I spent a period of time thinking “oh I’m okay, I’m just a little emotional” instead of taking myself seriously And getting the help I desperately needed.
I felt that my case wasn’t serious enough for a doctors examination.
Little did I realise that day by day, I was losing myself, I was losing my mind, I was losing everything.

If you are feeling stressed at work, low and sad or you are aware that your depression is worsening, I implore you to seek help immediately.

Talk to your doctor

Take an immediate break from work

Spend some time with yourself, doing something for yourself. Run a bath, read a book, watch a movie, cook some food that you really enjoy eating, exercise, create art or write or play music!

Whatever you do, do not give up on yourself.
Listen to what your mind is telling you and take it seriously.
Please do not doubt yourself.
You are right, you know your mind and your body and you know how to take care of it.
Forget about the financial pleasure that work can bring and focus on yourself.
If you don’t, no one else will.

Please let me know what you think and drop me a comment.
I definitely want to hear your opinions.
Thank you!